Volleyball Plays Red Army
May 21, 2001 | Women's Volleyball
May 21, 2001
.... When we last left our Cardinals, they were recovering nicely from a valiant loss to the MSCA ...
Sunday dawned as the Cardinals boarded the bus to Moscow duly prepared to show the Russian community the splendors of conspicuous consumerism and the joy of capitalism. We went to a huge open air flea market that specializes in Russian arts and crafts as well as souvenirs. To review our shopping capers, in Italy there is a small amount of bargaining that is acceptable. However,the vendors carry similar items and the similar ones seem to have a fixed price which takes away the biggest leverage a bargainer has... the old guy-down-the-block-has-it-for-cheaper ploy. In Germany, each item, no matter how small, is neatly tagged with a firm price. Any attempts to bargain with the vendors are shut down with some gutteral utterances and arms firmly crossed on the chest. Nothing prepared us for the Russian merchants. Luckily we had Anastasia Zaitseva, Marina Sinichenko and one of the Evgeny's with us (Evgeny the Elder). Our reticent Anastasia was a bit shy about hardcore bargaining, but she was excellent at organizing group deals and got us half off several items. Marina was excellent at wearing them down and acting disgusted at the insultingly high initial prices. She gone one crystal vendor to come down from $40 to $14. Of course, this took an excruciatingly long time, as do all Russian verbal exchange. (For example Costya and a policeman had a lively, animated conversation with wild arm gestures, shrugs and Russian sound effects. When questioned about the exchange, he indicated that we couldn't park there but had to move down a block. The Warsaw Pact was probably hammered out in less time.) However, I digress. The Americansky's role in the bargaining is to stand SILENTLY behind Marina and look slightly bored. At her brief translation of the ongoing negotiations, we are to snort derisively at the current price.
However, effective Marina was, she was no match for Evgeny, a retired colonel in the Red Army. When he waded into the bargaining fray, with his gruff military voice, a lot of the chit chatty portion of our program was cut out and we got down to brass tacks in one eighth of the time. As his English is rapidly improving, I felt the need to teach him the American word "bull#$%^&" and explain to him how good he was at cutting through it.
Thoroughly invigorated by our shopping triumphs, we went for a late lunch at an Italian restaurant where they evidently believe (as do I) that garlic is nature's most perfect food. The team devoured every scrap of bread and did some serious collateral damage to the salad bar, while simultaneously cutting our chances of vampire attacks to virtually zero.
Anastasia and Marina took us on a brief tour of the subway stations on Moscow. Each station stop is like an indoor, underground art museum. One stop had beautiful ceiling mosaics and another had brass sculptures of the figures of the Revolution. Each was beautiful and showed virtually no sign of graffiti to mar it. Evidently 85 years of limiting freedom of speech has one tiny advantage.
We returned to the Modena Compound where we walked about a mile to the river where the MSCA players were setting up a cookout. At first the two teams sat across from each other on the picnic benches and were fairly subdued. Evgeny the Younger got out his guitar and played some Garth Brooks and Beatles tunes before breaking into Russian folk songs. In the first surprise of the evening (our)Leonid burst into song. Evidently the lyrics were a bit on the bawdy side judging from the giggling from MSCA and uproarious laughter by the singers. Not surprisingly, the bilingual people in the crowd declined to translate it.
The climax of the evening came when Leonid (Berezin, not ours luckily) and the coach of the Under 18 club stripped down to their skivvies and jumped into the river. And by skivvies I mean the briefest of briefs under some (how do I say this politely) vodka guts? Our team was absoultely confounded. Picture John L. Smith or Rick Pitino hosting a party and suddenly walking around in their wet underwear encouraging people to eat undercooked pork. The MSCA team was obviously used to such antics and didn't bat an eye. The Cardinals stood with their mouths agape at this spectacle. Asst. Coach Rick Nold did NOT represent the United States volleyball coaches not to mention American manhood and gumption by staunchly refusing to strip down and join our buoyant hosts in the muddy water. When Evgeny the Younger and (Buffer)emerged from behind his car in his Speedo, however, the Cardinals jaws were slack for a different reason which I cannot repeat on a family website. As the mosquitos were fast draining us of our blood, we retreated back to the compound.
That night we watched bootlegged copies of American movies we had bought at the flea market. Periodically, a warning would come on that they were illegal copies and should be reported immediately to the the MCAA (the video police? a branch of the KGB?) Scofflaws that we were, we watched them anyway. Due to the fact that there is only one (rotary dial) phone on the grounds and we didn't feel like making our one three-minute call to bring these video pirates to justice, we did not alert the MCAA about this crime.
Monday morning we boarded the Ol' Wheezy the bus for our daily one and half hour commute to Moscow to visit the historical Arbat, a shopping district in Old Moscow. Once again Costya the busdriver amazed us with his abilities as we went down an eight-lane road with NO lines marked. None! Zero! Not even the center lane was marked. Picture the Watterson Expressway with no center median and no lane markers and heavy traffic. Ironically, there were workers diligently painting the outside guard rails in an intricate striped pattern, which gives you insight on the Russian prioritization systems.
After shopping in a down pour, the Cardinals went to the Red Army Sports Compound, home of 39 different sports, each with a practice facility and playing facility. The Red Army volleyball team beat the Cardinals in three games. They then offered to play two more games, and won those as well. This is one of the most elite, well-funded teams in the country. The Cardinals played well, but were on defense most of the time and in rally scored games, that doesn't bode well. Again we had a cheering section that this time included Olga Goubaidulina (Twin sister of Sonya who played for U of L.) Olga is 6-7 and is on the Olympic Volleyball team as well as playing professionally in Italy.
We came back to our favorite mall and to Time Online, where we are now getting student discounts with our IDs. (See how our bargaining skills are improving?)
Join us tomorrow for our final match and email any executives at Lufthansa encouraging them to cave into the pilots' demands so we can get home as soon as possible.
Das Vedanya for now!!
