After The Storm Comes A Rainbow
Nick Albiero
6/12/2023
I used to think the rainbow was a terrible depiction of the LGBTQ+ community. Growing up in a Christian household and attending a Christian middle/high school as a gay kid is not exactly… colorful. Since then, there have been a plethora of key milestones and turning points in my journey to finding the real me.
I used to pray about two things as a kid. I prayed for more friends that were boys, since the majority of my friends were girls - leaving me out of fun things like sleepovers on the weekends or shopping sprees with the moms. And I prayed to be straight.
Looking back, I was constantly living in a state of fear. I was scared of someone finding out the real me.
As a middle schooler, being taught that homosexuality is a sin altered the way I looked at myself. I hated myself. I didn’t want to be me. I envied straight people and straight relationships, because that was the life I wanted but knew I would never be or have.
So what do you do? You bury yourself and put on a façade. You avoid the uncomfortable conversations about homosexuals and laugh at the gay jokes when everyone else laughs. You simply pretend to be someone you are not in order to fit in or feel accepted. I would think what about this screams rainbow? It was dark and lonely.
For years, I played this role. I liked to think I was always my genuine self in school or at practice, just with a secret. A gay secret. Some people now would probably say I was a bad actor and knew right away, but I would try my best to minimize any risk. Looking back, I was constantly living in a state of fear. Fear of someone outing me or calling me names or making inappropriate jokes. I was scared of someone finding out the real me.
We have all heard the stories of parents cutting off their gay kids or kicking them out of the house or revoking their financial support. I loved my family too much for that to happen, so I second guessed myself every time I wanted to tell them. I decided it would be easier just not to think about it or say anything because maybe one day God would answer my prayers and I would wake up straight. On top of that, I used swimming as a distraction. The sport became my full focus early on and I kind of enjoyed the fact that I was always busy swimming. It allowed for no free time. Free time to think deeply about myself or discover who I truly was. But that only lasts so long.
I could finally be myself without carrying such a heavy weight.
As it is for everyone, college was a fresh start for me. Living away from home (even though it was twenty minutes away from campus) and having new teammates felt like a good opportunity to reinvent myself. To start from scratch. But swimming was even more important now and I valued my training schedule, including sleep, over putting myself out there or trying to find a relationship. It was like this for years until I came out.
HISTORY MADE.@AlbieroNick becomes the first swimmer in @theACC history to win 5 golds in a single event!#GoCards x #ACCSD pic.twitter.com/xcGQHixYeA
— Louisville Athletics (@GoCards) February 18, 2022
My “coming out” story is pretty simple. During the 2021 Olympic Games, my family and I were in Florida on vacation. We would go to the beach all day and come back inside at night to watch the swimming events. One day we decided to sit by the backyard pool instead of the beach, and the news broke that Simone Biles would not be competing due to mental health. That sparked the mental health conversation among my family and my mom was asking some pretty deep questions about me and my siblings’ experiences in life so far. My older brother, Estefan, went first and shared some deep memories he had from a scary time in his life. He had a blood clot and underwent a hip replacement at a young age. Then it was my turn to share and I went for it. It was the only thing that had been weighing on my chest, and gradually it became too much for me to carry alone that I was breaking down. So, I told them and we all cried. At that point, I think everyone already knew and it felt like a relief.
I could finally be myself without carrying such a heavy weight.
You are never alone and the people who are meant to be in your life will accept you for who you truly are.
I know this is not the case for every coming out story, but in mine, my family is my number one support. Without them, I would be lost. I also have incredible friends and teammates. Ones that knew before my family. Ones that constantly reach out to check up on me and let me know that I am supported by them. However, I have lost certain people in my life. And that’s okay. People come and go. They will have opinions and beliefs that do not line up with yours. And that’s okay.
I share all of this to say: you are never alone and the people who are meant to be in your life will accept you for who you truly are.
Authentically Albiero ??
— USA Swimming (@USASwimming) June 1, 2023
NCAA All-Americans from @LouisvilleSD Nick and Gabi Albiero joined Kick Set podcast to share Nick's coming-out story and #PrideMonth2023, their sibling dynamic and more.
??: https://t.co/V7LnhkyORv pic.twitter.com/3RgYoDGN9J
And If you are an ally, be willing to listen and learn. Check in on your loved ones and don’t assume anything about anyone. It’s okay to mess up sometimes, but there are ways you can educate yourself or ask for guidance.
June is simply the best month.
It’s my birthday month.
It’s the summer.
And it’s Pride Month.
What comes after a storm? Hopefully, a beautiful rainbow.
Pride Month is so much more than parades and colors. To me, it’s about acceptance, authenticity, and freedom. It’s feeling at home within yourself, having community and support, loving yourself, and respecting others while also fighting and speaking up for equality. It’s also a celebration of surviving hard times.
What comes after a storm?
Hopefully, a beautiful rainbow.
Now it makes sense to me - why the LGBTQ+ flag is a rainbow.
I came out for a lot of reasons, the biggest one being for a generation of young swimmers. My goal in all of this is to make sure kids like me in the United States or around the world are seeing someone they feel represents them. I never had that growing up. I never had a gay, high-level swimmer to look up to.
It makes me the happiest when I hear from coaches about their swimmers coming out or club swimmers saying they are excited to cheer me on because I’m gay like them. We need more of this representation everywhere, but I saw a gaping hole in the swimming community, one that is already extremely vulnerable, and I want to fill it.
I truly believe there is power in being unique. People see you. And now I see myself clearly. I walk with my head up, carrying less weight than ever. With pride. I hope you can too.
So Happy Pride Month! Whether you are out and celebrating, in the closet, confused about yourself, feel like you don’t have support, or anywhere in between, I am proud of you, and you are loved by me.
